Witter allows you to enter jokes and funny comments – up to a maximum of 147 characters… sometimes I wonder how we think up our ideas – genius!

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  1. On March 9th, 2010 at 2:35 am witt1, Wittered:

    why is it called spanking the monkey? who spanks monkeys? and why are they spanking them like that? it’s a very ineffective way to spank something.

  2. On January 26th, 2010 at 11:13 pm terry, Wittered:

    Mum always blamed God, but I knew all along of the affair, and that I was the car painters son.

  3. On January 26th, 2010 at 1:19 pm drew, Wittered:

    How many porn stars does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Upwards of 2, but it has to be a bloody big light bulb.

  4. On January 19th, 2010 at 11:35 am clive, Wittered:

    beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

  5. On January 14th, 2010 at 10:40 am davo, Wittered:

    What is the world coming to?

    Tissues? Bellies? Socks?

  6. On January 12th, 2010 at 4:19 am Bob, Wittered:

    Dave: Which came first the chicken or the egg?

    Bob: That is some sick porn you’re watching Dave!

  7. On January 3rd, 2010 at 7:04 pm witt1, Wittered:

    What type of bee makes milk?

    A boo-bee!

  8. On January 1st, 2010 at 4:27 pm dog, Wittered:

    Mary and Jesus. Is abstinence is 100% effective?

  9. On December 27th, 2009 at 12:50 am dave, Wittered:

    there I was, Christmas eve, a non smoker and I could see 2 cigarettes in my hand – convinced I was going cross-eyed, I pulled focus, only to see that I was in fact smoking 2 cigarettes and a lit copy of playboy

  10. On December 24th, 2009 at 2:43 pm dave, Wittered:

    1.44am so not happy with this no show, considering a pod cast on the myth of Santa :`C

  11. On December 24th, 2009 at 2:25 pm dave, Wittered:

    1.33am ..removing mum and dad from my facebook buddies…

  12. On December 24th, 2009 at 2:24 pm dave, Wittered:

    1.30am, Santa is a no show. I’m starting a draft email to my parents to state my position on this being a bit of a rip off…

  13. On December 24th, 2009 at 3:08 am bono, Wittered:

    does is snow in Bethlehem?

  14. On December 23rd, 2009 at 9:28 am ron, Wittered:

    I got so dehydrated that I finally went to the toilet after 3 days just to hear my penis fart.

  15. On December 23rd, 2009 at 9:28 am kev, Wittered:

    Dave: Hi In Fish Oils.

    In Fish Oils: Hi Dave.

    Dave: You still have a stupid name?

    In Fish Oils: Yes Dave.

  16. On December 22nd, 2009 at 10:52 am jones, Wittered:

    2012 eh? Oh the Mayan’s said it did they? Oh Oh…

    Well if the Mayan’s told you to jump of a bridge would you do that to?

  17. On December 19th, 2009 at 8:55 am doctor pete, Wittered:

    What is that colour in your language?

    It’s exactly the same.

  18. On December 19th, 2009 at 8:54 am doctor pete, Wittered:

    We are close to the day we celebrate when baby jehova was shot by 3 wise monkeys in a chocolate egg held on the head of a bunnie in a cave for 3 days

    How do we celebrate?

    We buy shit we dont need

    ..and give shit others dont need to them

  19. On December 17th, 2009 at 2:07 pm doctor pete, Wittered:

    Do you know your bloodtype?

    Yeah, red, liquidy.

  20. On December 17th, 2009 at 1:07 pm b, Wittered:

    Two snowmen in a field and one says to the other…

    ..can you smell carrots?

  21. On December 17th, 2009 at 1:05 pm dave, Wittered:

    May the Farts be hind you

  22. On December 17th, 2009 at 1:03 pm dave, Wittered:

    May the Farce be witt you.

  23. On December 14th, 2009 at 9:06 pm witt1, Wittered:

    what’s black and white and runs like a horse?

    … a black and white horse. Or possibly a penguin that’s trying to blend in on a ranch.

  24. On December 14th, 2009 at 10:51 am dimwitt, Wittered:

    A snowman had his rotten carrot nose pulled off his face and then tightened more and more around his neck until he was strangled to death.

    Yes, he was carrotted

  25. On December 14th, 2009 at 9:40 am witt1, Wittered:

    What does a christmas tree and a priest have in common?
    Their balls are just for decoration.

  26. On December 12th, 2009 at 5:59 am don, Wittered:

    EDIT:

    Bloke at the bar: That barmaid has good tits John.

    Barmaid: *punches bloke*

    John: She seems to have good ears too Dave.

  27. On December 12th, 2009 at 5:58 am don, Wittered:

    Wife is bored of her Casanova husband and his excuses for always getting caught talking to girls.

    She hits him with an iron.

    “And that is for your magnetic personality”

  28. On December 12th, 2009 at 5:54 am don, Wittered:

    Bloke at the bar: That barmaid has nice tits John.

    Barmaid: *punches bloke*

    John: She seems to have ears as well as tits Dave.

  29. On December 11th, 2009 at 12:13 pm oi, Wittered:

    They say that only humans and dolphins do rape. Like they ever saw a cow consent to sex? Oh yeah, I saw that mating ritual and was convinced the dog and the other dog just consented to have have 9 puppies and remain together until after the youngest clears college.

  30. On December 11th, 2009 at 11:42 am oi, Wittered:

    An English man Irish man Pope and a Dog walked into a joke..

  31. On December 11th, 2009 at 11:42 am oi, Wittered:

    A blond walked into a barbarella…